(Warning I was long winded back then)
She's Got The Whole Foods In Her Hands
Okay so today I let my inquisitive nature take me to the opening of the Whole Foods Market in Cupertino. Remind me to write a letter to my "inquisitive nature" and tell it to take a hike. And you may be thinking what make it so different from any other whole foods? Oh nothing it would just make a great place to shoot the new movie "honey I blew up the whole foods"-in a nutshell it's gigantic!
Anyway, as soon as I pulled into the parking lot I knew this was not a good idea. There were hundreds of cars-not exaggerating- all trying to find and or leave a parking spot. Ridiculous but I soldiered on. So I finally found a spot from a woman that looked like she had just seen the best thing ever followed by a startling smack in the face (go ahead just picture it) and ventured up into the store.
So I get up to the outdoor market area and they are giving away samples of melon and I kid you not grown women were elbowing one another as if the man behind the counter said that for the next ten minutes he was handing out hundred dollar bills. I mean come on ladies...it's a melon (sure it's organic yada yada yada)...but a MELON none the less. I toy with the idea of fighting for a piece of the melon but then decide it's not worth all of the sweaty people I would have to rub up against.
Finally I am in the whole foods! As I said earlier its huge. I am willing to venture that all of the food products in that one store alone could have fed Ethiopia with some food left over. They had a Salad bar as long as half a football field, and some other assorted "bars" with "foods of the world" (which one lady thought was incredibly generous free samples until a worker finally came up to her and said "ma'am this food is for sale-not free samples) AND they had a deli, meat counter, bistro-ish restaurant (which by the way I am not sure why anyone would want to eat there today because it was beyond noisy). okay, focus....so I walk in and my only reason for going there was to get a Sigg Water bottle recommended to me by Erin. I swear I am on a quest for the perfect water bottle, I will let you know how this one turns out.
So I am immediately overwhelmed as I walk into the store and I hate not knowing what I am doing so I decide to cut through the confusion and ask an aimless worker where the water bottles are; Our dialoge is as follows:
Me: "excuse me do you have Sigg water bottles?"
Him: "um...I'm sure we do....I just don't know where they are...."
Me: "oh...okay..."
Him: "yeah I usually don't work here (no shinaningans shirlock-it's opening day) I was just asked to come so that I could you know help out"
Me: "oh and what a help you are, I think they just asked you to be here so you could keep that name tag warm" (okay okay I didn't say that-I just said thank you and turned around to see the Sigg water bottles in front of my face.)
As I am picking out my proper color/size sigg I notice this woman towering over me as if these sigg water bottles were breaking news and she had to get one-I mean more power to ya but gosh give a girl some breathing room.
Okay so I got my sigg and realized that while I am here I should at least get some food right? So I go to the salad bar and am accosted by this balloon blowing clown (I HATE CLOWNS!) I don't want a balloon I just want a salad!!! As the clown goes off to scare others I notice that there are about 8 kids trailing him as if he were the pied piper! First of all I would like to know what kind of parent allows their child to follow around a stranger in grease paint around acres of a very crowded store? But I suppose there is always the other type of parent that doesn't even notice their child is missing until they pass some brightly colored display and doesn't feel a tug on their pants and the scream of "can I have that?!!?!" Which one is worse?
Anyway I finally get up to the cashier after being behind miles of people in line and having my patience tried by having a lady tap her cart methodically against my rear until I turn around and "smile" at her-she stops the tapping and then just tries to cut in front of me-how nice. By this time I am frazzled and think that there is not enough health food in the world to make me want to go back in that store. I meet Daniel, my helpful whole foods worker. I ask him if he is stressed out and he says not really as bells and whistles go off and that damn clown runs past him. He seems so at peace. I have never seen someone reach nirvana but he seemed pretty close to it; that or he partook in some other "all natural substance" before coming to work-I suspect the latter. Nonetheless, Daniel inspired me with his calm nature and sent me out of the store with a much more calm aura about me; until I was stalked like a jungle animal of Africa as I walked to my car. So big shout out to Erin for the Sigg water bottle, also a big shout out to Daniel thanks for calming me down and third shout out to that damn clown-stay away from me!
Anyway, as soon as I pulled into the parking lot I knew this was not a good idea. There were hundreds of cars-not exaggerating- all trying to find and or leave a parking spot. Ridiculous but I soldiered on. So I finally found a spot from a woman that looked like she had just seen the best thing ever followed by a startling smack in the face (go ahead just picture it) and ventured up into the store.
So I get up to the outdoor market area and they are giving away samples of melon and I kid you not grown women were elbowing one another as if the man behind the counter said that for the next ten minutes he was handing out hundred dollar bills. I mean come on ladies...it's a melon (sure it's organic yada yada yada)...but a MELON none the less. I toy with the idea of fighting for a piece of the melon but then decide it's not worth all of the sweaty people I would have to rub up against.
Finally I am in the whole foods! As I said earlier its huge. I am willing to venture that all of the food products in that one store alone could have fed Ethiopia with some food left over. They had a Salad bar as long as half a football field, and some other assorted "bars" with "foods of the world" (which one lady thought was incredibly generous free samples until a worker finally came up to her and said "ma'am this food is for sale-not free samples) AND they had a deli, meat counter, bistro-ish restaurant (which by the way I am not sure why anyone would want to eat there today because it was beyond noisy). okay, focus....so I walk in and my only reason for going there was to get a Sigg Water bottle recommended to me by Erin. I swear I am on a quest for the perfect water bottle, I will let you know how this one turns out.
So I am immediately overwhelmed as I walk into the store and I hate not knowing what I am doing so I decide to cut through the confusion and ask an aimless worker where the water bottles are; Our dialoge is as follows:
Me: "excuse me do you have Sigg water bottles?"
Him: "um...I'm sure we do....I just don't know where they are...."
Me: "oh...okay..."
Him: "yeah I usually don't work here (no shinaningans shirlock-it's opening day) I was just asked to come so that I could you know help out"
Me: "oh and what a help you are, I think they just asked you to be here so you could keep that name tag warm" (okay okay I didn't say that-I just said thank you and turned around to see the Sigg water bottles in front of my face.)
As I am picking out my proper color/size sigg I notice this woman towering over me as if these sigg water bottles were breaking news and she had to get one-I mean more power to ya but gosh give a girl some breathing room.
Okay so I got my sigg and realized that while I am here I should at least get some food right? So I go to the salad bar and am accosted by this balloon blowing clown (I HATE CLOWNS!) I don't want a balloon I just want a salad!!! As the clown goes off to scare others I notice that there are about 8 kids trailing him as if he were the pied piper! First of all I would like to know what kind of parent allows their child to follow around a stranger in grease paint around acres of a very crowded store? But I suppose there is always the other type of parent that doesn't even notice their child is missing until they pass some brightly colored display and doesn't feel a tug on their pants and the scream of "can I have that?!!?!" Which one is worse?
Anyway I finally get up to the cashier after being behind miles of people in line and having my patience tried by having a lady tap her cart methodically against my rear until I turn around and "smile" at her-she stops the tapping and then just tries to cut in front of me-how nice. By this time I am frazzled and think that there is not enough health food in the world to make me want to go back in that store. I meet Daniel, my helpful whole foods worker. I ask him if he is stressed out and he says not really as bells and whistles go off and that damn clown runs past him. He seems so at peace. I have never seen someone reach nirvana but he seemed pretty close to it; that or he partook in some other "all natural substance" before coming to work-I suspect the latter. Nonetheless, Daniel inspired me with his calm nature and sent me out of the store with a much more calm aura about me; until I was stalked like a jungle animal of Africa as I walked to my car. So big shout out to Erin for the Sigg water bottle, also a big shout out to Daniel thanks for calming me down and third shout out to that damn clown-stay away from me!
2 comments:
This looks like a whole lot of fun! I might have to do this myself. You're the first one I've seen enter, so thanks for letting me know!
Loved it! I will be doing this!
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