And thankfully I excelled. I didn't fall nearly as often as I did in gymnastics and when I did the floor wasn't all that far away. So I danced and then competed and assisted some of my teachers with the little kid classes. I took 10-15 hours of dance a week, I immersed myself. And it didn't stop until my early twenties.
Shortly after that I started graduate school and focused on that, an internship and a day job. My point in all of this? I have always been focused on something, insanely so. I have always had a rehearsal to get to, a test to study for, a paper to write. I would try to fit in some life here and there, I did my best, I really did. But there was always a main focus, a goal, an endpoint and once it was reached I would find a new one to replace it.
So now I am working at a job I love and am kind of basking in the after glow. But I am not quite sure I am basking right. I have free time and I just don't know what to do with it. Truthfully I am beginning to wonder if I am one of those people that compulsively stays busy because they don't know how to just be. Just like when I was a flailing gymnast, I have trouble balancing.
How do you balance? Do you feel the need to fill your time?
4 comments:
This is an awesomely designed blog. You seem way up in the blogging hierarchy.
Do comment on my Pepsi glorifying piece of sacrilege.
http://illegalbriefs.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/its-pep-see/
I stand to win my own domain. :)
I love and have always been exceptionally good at down-time...I could sit on the couch with the TV or a book or a magazine or my ginormous arsenal of nail polish and just chill out for hours. That being said, when I was job-less for over 6 months, I got nothing BUT down-time and it was nice - at first - until it drove me insane. Now that I'm finally working again, I've noticed that I'm more like you in the what's going on next? what can I do to fill up this hour of the day? kind of way. I still LOVE vegging out to reality TV, but I've definitely a backlog in my DVR and that's okay too.
So yeah, who knows!
Also, I took gymnastics too, as well, and even regaled my in-laws with one-handed cartwheels and round-offs this past weekend, woo!
I understand completely because I'm happiest when I have a project to work on, whether it's planning a bathroom remodel or trying out new recipes or whatever. I highly recommend doing volunteer work. In Chicago (where I live), there's a group called Chicago Cares. They offer one-time volunteer jobs, usually of an hour or two. You can sign up for just one or many. Have fun!
I find it really hard to just be these days... I used to love lying about with books and the like but now if I'm home watching a dvd during the day I feel really guilty. I have a 2yr old at daycare today and I can't start my work yet and I don't know what to do! Need to save money so I can't go shopping, and I don't feel like reading because I have a headache, but I can't relax!! I wrote a book just after I had a baby because I thought I should be doing something else too, lol. !! I have this problem. You're so not alone with it.
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