Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's A Sign! Or Not

I'm trying something new this year, I am trying not to see something when nothing is there. This is not a clever way of telling you that I see dead people...although... that's a post for a whole other day.
I digress.

I have a habit of taking meaning from seemingly mundane, average, non-meaning filled things and turning them into very important omens. For instance, when I used to perform I would base the success of the impending performance by how easily my eyelashes were applied. If they would attach seamlessly to my eyelid I was in luck-it would be a great performance. If the glue smeared on my eyelid and necessitated re-application I would get nervous. Now, I realize that one does not have a thing to do with the other-but in my mind they somehow did.

Unfortunately I did not leave this weird superstitious behavior behind when I stopped dancing. But I am trying to change it up a bit this year. I mean how much pressure am I putting on myself by reading so deeply in to everything-so much! So when I woke up on January 1st with a really bad cold and lovely anxiety attack I tried my darndest to convince myself that it wasn't a sign of the new year to come. Sometimes stuff just happens and it just, happens. No, relation to the past or future.

But let me tell you, even though I am trying to change my superstitious ways I still can't help but be slightly worried that this year might be challenging because I woke up feeling immense anxiety and a horrible cold. But I figure many a person wake up feeling way worse from hangovers-so they aren't all doomed. Right?

Do you read into things? Do you take mundane things to be signs of something greater?

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