Monday, December 3, 2012

The Long And Winding Road

It has been nearly nine months since Jon's dad passed away. It is one of those situations in which time seems to have passed too fast but incredibly slow at the same time. As a family we are all learning how to live life without him. Its strange and almost hard to believe. And as this time passes something that is becoming more and more apparent is how much of a relationship that he and I had. I mean I knew we always had our own little connection but I have been so focused on the fact that he was a father and a husband first that my relationship with him wasn't as clear to me as it is now.

But now, nine months later I find myself remembering little nuances that were unique to he and I only. As I drove my car the other day, listening to the new John Mayer cd, I thought of Chip. I got a little frustrated because I just knew that he would really like the sound of "Born and Raised" and it made me upset that he would never hear it. You see I introduced Chip to John Mayer's music-he was skeptical at best when I made the recommendation to him. Keep in mind that Chip had witnessed my intense love for the boys of 'NSync so I don't blame him for being skeptical of my musical taste. But he gave John Mayer a listen and really liked it-I had earned some street cred. From then on we would chat about music on the front porch, it was really nice.

There was one time in particular when he wasn't feeling so well and laid up in bed. I pulled up a chair and Jon sat next to him in bed and we sat there for a couple of hours calling out favorite songs. I would look them up on my phone and we would tell stories to go along with the songs or explain why we took a liking to certain songs. I remember in particular Chip and I both mentioned "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles. Jon can't stand this song and said just as much but Chip and I began a lengthy conversation about why we had a soft spot for that song. And now every time I hear it I think of him.

Since it is the holiday season I keep coming back to a Thanksgiving in which I gave Chip a hug and he looked down at me (he was 6'2" and I am 5'4") and said "you are the same size that my mom was" and he hugged me a little tighter. I then looked up at him and said "you remind me of George Washington-you are like...President tall." And that right there was a true snap shot moment of our relationship. He was very cool, calm and collected and I am quirky...but I think he secretly got a kick out of it. I miss saying off the wall things to catch him off guard and seeing a wry smile creep across his face. I wish I could have officially been his daughter in law and made some memories with him officially as my father in law. But we had some good times and since that is all I have I'll do my best to cherish that and not be too upset on what could have been.

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